The lighter side of the thirteenth Black Crusade
by duke2
Summary: my first humor fic, and also my first song fic,[Chapter 16] a Chaos remix of run to the hills.
1. Daemon's Paradice

This is a parody of Coolio's Gangsta's paradise.  
  
Daemon's paradise  
  
Ursarkar E. Creed and a squad of youth army cadets come across a Daemon Prince and a squad of Obliterators on Cadia. Creed walks forward, "you wanna tell me what this is all about?" he asks. The Daemon Prince smiles as him and steps forward and music starts to play:  
  
Daemon Prince: As I walk through the shadow of the Eye of Terror, I take a look at my life and realize I'll be fighting forever. Cause I've been killing and maiming for so long, that even Abaddon thinks that my mind had gone. But ain't never crossed a Marine that didn't deserve it. (Obliterators starts nodding to the beat) Me be treated like Grater Daemon, you know that's unheard of. Ya betta watch how you ya talking, and where ya shooting or you and your troops could be lined in chalk. I really hate to trip but I gotta lock. As they croak, I see myself in the Bolt pistol smoke, fool. I'm the kinda Daemon Price little Nurglings wanna be like on my knees in the day swearing to the Chaos gods that I'll make the Emperor pay.  
  
Obliterators: Been spending most our lives liven in a Daemon's paradise. Keep spending most our lives liven in a Daemon's paradise.  
  
Daemon Prince: They got this situation, they got me facing. I can't live a normal life I was raised by the warp. So I got to me down with the Daemon packs. Too much combat training got me crushing dreams. I'm an evil leader with murder on my mind, got my gun in my claw and a red glow to my eyes. I'm a lowdown monstrous creature, set tripping warrior and my Obliterators is down so don't arouse my anger, fool. Death ain't nothing but three wounds away. I'm liven life, do or die, what can I say? Am a million twenty-three will I live to see a million twenty-four, the way things are going I don't know.  
  
Obliterators: Tell me why are you so blind to see that the ones that are killed are you by me. Tell me why are you so blind to see that the ones that are killed are you by me.  
  
Daemon Prince: Power and the souls, souls and the power, Minute after minute, hour after hour. Everybody's fighting but half of them aren't even looken, at what's going on all around them but I guess I can't blame them (Daemon Prince flexes his arms). They say I gotta stop but nobody's dared to stop me, if they can't face me how can the beat me. I guess they can't, I guess they wont, guess they front...that's how you know your life is out of lick, fool! Obliterators: Been spending most our lives living in a Daemon's paradise, keep spending most our lives living in a Daemon's paradise. Tell me why are you so blind to see that the ones that are killed are you by me, tell me why are you so blind to see that the ones that are killed are you by me.  
  
Creed and is youth army squad retreat at the from the horror of the Daemon Prince and his singing Obliterators, "run, run of your lives, lads!" Creed screamed. As the Daemon Prince and is Obliterators celebrated there victory Abaddon watched from the brig of the planet killer.  
  
Abaddon: mental note; never let the Daemon Princes and Obliterators watch MTV ever again. This is just to cruel, even for us...good beat though.  
  
Author: as always place review and place be kind I was up late working. on this. 


	2. Pretty fly for a dead guy

This is a parody of the Offspring's 'Pretty fly for a white guy'  
  
Pretty fly for a dead guy.  
  
Abaddon stood on the ruins of an Imperial base on Cadia will a group of Mutants scouring the area for stragglers. Abaddon turns to a nearby Plague Zombie, "now that this strategically vital area has been toppled it is only a matter of time until Cadia is mine and then Terra will be next! Are you listening to me?" Abaddon asks as the Zombie stagers off and music starts to play.  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh. And all the Mutants say I'm pretty fly...  
  
Mutants: ...for a dead guy.  
  
Boss Mutant: Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis. You know its kinda hard just get along today. Our subject isn't living, but he fakes it anyway. He may not have a pulse, and he may not have style. But everything he lacks, well he makes up for by being veil. So don't debate, a Zombie straight. You know he really doesn't get it anyway. Gonna play the field, and keep it real. For you no way, for you no way. So if you don't breath, just overcompensate. At least you'll know you're dead any way, so don't fear you're fate. The universe needs Zombies. Hay, hey, do that undead thing!  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh.  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh. And all the Mutants say I'm pretty fly for dead guy.  
  
Boss Mutant: He needs some cool gifts, not just any will suffice. But he couldn't get Goatheaded, so he got Bloated instead. Now staggering on Cadia, he sees humans as he pass. But if they aren't fast, then he'll kick their lily ass!  
  
The Boss mutant produces a guitar and plays an assume guitar rift.  
  
Boss Mutant: So don't debate, a Zombie straight. You know he really doesn't get it anyway. Gonna play the field, and keep it real. For you no way, for you no way. So if you don't breath, just overcompensate. At least you'll know you're dead any way, so don't fear you're fate. The universe loves Zombies. Hey, hey, do that undead thing! Now he's getting an icon yeah, he's getting summoning done. He asked for a Bloodthirster, but he got a Great Unclean One. Traitors say he's moving to slow, and he's not quite strong. But in his own mind he's the one that, one that spurs the Crusade on!  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh.  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh  
  
Mutants: Give it to me baby...  
  
Plague Zombie: uh huh, uh huh. And all the Mutants say I'm pretty fly for a dead guy.  
  
Boss Mutant: Uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis. So don't debate, a Zombie straight. You know he really doesn't get it anyway. Gonna play the field, and keep it real. For you no way, for you no way. So if you don't breath, just overcompensate. At least you'll know you're dead any way, so don't fear you're fate. The universe needs Zombies. The universe loves Zombies. Let's get some more Zombies. Hey, hey, do that undead thing!  
  
The Boss mutant continues to play the Guitar as all the Mutants dance in celebration of their victory over the Immerium. Abaddon shakes his head at the dancing mutants, "first the Obliterators and now the Mutants...where will it end? Sigh, as long as I don't start singing it'll be alright" Abaddon groaned.  
  
Author: yes I am aware of just how stupid this is but it's supposed to be. Anyway, I've decided that any time I come up with a Chaos remix of a sound it's going into this fic and much to the despair of the Despoiler, it could be the greatest weapon that Chaos has ever used. 


	3. The Real Ahriman

Quick note: I have taken more time to check the spelling and grammar in this chapter but only in the situation narrative, the lyrics, though spell checked, are exactly as the song was written (aside from my alterations that is). Oh and White Dwarf, you really shouldn't have suggested that, but fear not if I do have the Sisters singing Britney Spears it wont be posted in this fic. The only ones singing here are the forces of Chaos, and lets face it their the only ones evil enough to resort to this level of inhuman tactics. Well on with the show...  
  
This is a parody of Eminem's 'the Real Slim Shady'  
  
Abaddon walked proudly over a field of battle to the middle of a force of Thousand sons who where all sitting on the remnants of four destroyed Tanks of varying types. Abaddon grinned at the sight of a Chaos victory, "Ahriman, I stand impressed! Four of the enemy's tanks destroyed and not a single casualty suffered by your forces! This is truly a testament too our cause, and a welcome change to the madness of singing Daemons and mutants..." he looks at the armored figure he was addressing. Abaddon looked around, "Ahriman! Where are you?" he asked, just then an army of Eldar appeared. There was an Avatar at the head of the Eldar force, "so...I came here to put an end to the threat of the Chaos legion here. Now I find I can put an end to the Mon-keigh that started this war. Face me, Abaddon and you as well Ahriman...ah, Ahriman?" Niadien glanced around finding that every reclining Chaos Space Marine matched the description he had of Ahriman. The huge Avatar rubbed his chine in confusion; "May I have your attention place, may I have your attention place...will the real Ahriman place stand up. I repeat, well the real Ahriman place stand up" every Chaos Space Marine stands, "we're going to have a problem here..."  
  
Ahriman jumps onto the highest point on a wrecked Basilisk and begins taping his foot.  
  
Ahriman: Y'all act like you never seen a sorcerer before Jaws all on the floor like the Emperor, like Horus just burst in the door And started whoopin his ass unlike before They first did battle, slaughtering his forces like cattle (ahh!) It's the return of the... "ah, wait, no wait, you're kidding, He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Eldrad said...nothing you idiots! Eldrad's dead, I but a built through his head! (ha-ha!) Eldar women love Ahriman {vocal turntable: Chigga chigga chigga} "Ahriman, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin around blasting you-know-what At you-know-who," "yeah, but he's so cool though!" Yeah, I probably let a couple Daemons up in my head loose But no worse, than what's goin on outside you're Lemon Ross Sometimes, I wanna get on the battle field and just let loose, but can't But it's cool for Typhus to let his wounds ooze "my gun is in your face, my gun is in your face" And if you're luck, I wont end your stupid race And that's the message that I deliver to little Eldar And expect them not to know that their going extinct Of course they gonna know there being whipped out They got eyes don't they? "we ain't nothing but mammals..." well, some of us living armor who didn't have magic power and got burnt out like toast But if we can recruit dead civilians by the millions Then there's no reason the Elder and the Cadians can't align {ewww!} but if you feel the like I feel, then they all got to die Mutants wave your tentacles, sing the chorus and it goes  
  
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahrimans are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahrimans are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
Ahriman: Logan Grimnar don't gotta cast spells to win his wars; Well I do, I'll kill him and I'll kill you too! You think I give a damn about Space Wolves? Half of those Space Marines can't even touch me, let alone beat me "but Ahriman, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? So you can, face me here next to the Cadians? Strike, Avatar well see how well your weapon fairs Then I'll knock you too the ground next to Ursarkar Creed and Jarran Kell And see who begs for mercy first You little Squig, don't waist my time on the battle field "yeah, he's touch, but I think he's just a librarian, hee-hee!" I should go down to Terra, burst into the Imperil place And show the whole universe how I made the Thousand son what they are today {ahhh!} I'm sick of all you little Eldar and Imperil guard groups, all you do is annoy me. So I have come here to destroy you {bzzzt} And there's a thousand of us just like me Who cast like me; who just don't have a soul like me Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing but not quite me! Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes I'm the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So won't the real Ahriman please stand up, Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
Ahriman: I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you Things you joke about with your friends on your craftworld The only difference is I got the powers to actually do it In any battle y'all face me on and I don't have to constrain or control it at all I just get in the fight and win it And wether you like to admit it {err} I just think it Better than ninety percent of you psychers out can Then I wonder why you Eldar can keep fighting like ideates It's funny; cause at the rate I'm going when it's over There wont be an Eldar left standing And I'll be left laughing And every single person is a Ahriman lurkin He could be on Cadia, given your security codes away Or on Terra, rebelling Screaming "Death to the false Emperor!" With his fist pounding and his gun blasting So, will the real Ahriman please stand up? And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?  
  
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So wont the real Ahriman please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
Ahriman: I'm Ahriman, yes the real Ahriman All you other Ahriman are just imitating So wont the real Ahriman please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up?  
  
Ahriman: Ha ha Guess there's a Ahriman in all of us Let's all stand up...  
  
The Eldar force backed away as every Thousand son began nodding their heads in unison, "there mad...FALL BACK!" shouted the Avatar. As the Eldar ran for their lives Abaddon dropped to his knees and pounded the ground with his power fist, "this can't be happening! It is my military genius that will win this war, not singing! Curs you MTV and your music videos!" Abaddon shouted at the cracked ground. Ahriman walked over to Abaddon; "I have to admit Abaddon, your idea to have our forces sing to defeat our enemies was a stroke of genius" Ahriman stated as he watched the Eldar disappear into the distance. Abaddon arched back and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 


	4. Breaking the humans

This is a parody of Linkin Park's 'breaking the habit'  
  
Abaddon and a hoard of Bloodletters crouched behind the ruins of an Imperil building, "damn, those search lights will ruin our element of surprise! There's only one thing for it, a frontal assault" he said mostly to himself. Just then a Bloodthirster lumbered into full view as the spotlights trained on it, their was a pause then it began taping its hoof, "oh no..." Abaddon muttered as music began to play.  
  
Bloodthirster: Memories concern Like opening the wound I'm tearing you a apart again You all assume You're safe in your tanks Unless you try to fight again  
  
Bloodthirster: I want to be the one Who battles always you Cuz inside I realize That I want blood to spew  
  
Bloodthirster: You think you know what's worth fighting for Or why you have to die I don't know why you instigate A fight you can not win I don't care how you got this way I know you want to fight So, I'm breaking the humans I'm breaking the humans tonight  
  
Bloodthirster: Led by a corpse I quickly grab your jaw You try to catch your breath again I'll make you hurt much more Than any time before You have no option left again  
  
Bloodthirster: I want to be the one Who battles always you Cuz inside I realize That I want blood to spew  
  
Bloodthirster: You think you know what's worth fighting for Or why you have to die I don't know why you instigate A fight you can not win I don't care how you got this way I know you want to fight So, I'm breaking the humans I'm breaking the humans tonight  
  
Bloodthirster: I'll paint your blood on the walls Cuz you're the ones that fall I'll always fight again And this is how you end  
  
Bloodthirster: You think you know what's worth fighting for Or why you have to die I don't know why you instigate A fight you can not win I don't care how you got this way I know you want to fight So, I'm breaking the humans I'm breaking the humans...TONIGHT!  
  
The Imperil Guardsmen ran screaming into night and as the Bloodletters joined the Bloodthirster in celebration Abaddon banged his head against a wall repeating over and over, "why...why...why?" 


	5. Daemon Yell

Well I'm back from my little break and made an attempt at the two suggestions I was given though this first one may not be my best work. Anyway, all suggestions are appreciated and I will make an attempt to give every song a chaos remix but I'll only post the ones that workout. One quick thing about the suggestions, anything rock, rap, metal is fine but if you have a say...pop song you want remixed then I'll certainly give it a go. However, if your suggestion isn't remixed then you should take a swing at it your self, I mean I don't own the monopoly on madness. If you do though I should warn you, every time I hear a song I've remixed played I hear my own lyrics but that could just be me.  
  
This is a parody of Billy Idol's 'Rebel yell'  
  
Abaddon stood atop a hill taking note of the weak points in the Space wolves' position below, "with these ignorant fools out of the way I can end this war without having to suffer more madness. Oh no, not them..." below a force of the Emperor's children marched towards the Space wolves position, Abaddon know what to expect. The Chaos lord leading the force walked towards the enemy and began to tap his foot, and Abaddon sighed as the music started.  
  
Chaos Lord: Last night a little dancer Came dancin' to my helm Last night a little Daemonette Came walking into my realm She said a "come baby I've got a license for lust And if it expires Pray to Slaanesh you must" Because  
  
Chaos lord: In the darkest hour She cried more, more, more While the rebels yell She cried more, more, more Owww In the darkest hour, Daemon More, more, more While the rebels yell More, more, more More, more, more  
  
Chaos lord: She don't mind slavery She liked to sit and beg But when she's tided and bound She sees no need for a bed I set you free And brought you to me, Daemon I set you free I'll disembowel Imperils to see you grin with glee Because  
  
Chaos lord: In the darkest hour She cried more, more, more While the rebels yell She cried more, more, more Wowww In the darkest hour, Daemon More, more, more While the rebels yell More, more, more  
  
Chaos lord: He lies that he has his own heaven Sitting on a golden throne Well he's rotting all night not answering prayers Just so long, just so long as no one questions but then they never dare Oww ha  
  
Chaos lord: I weave the warp for you, Daemon A thousand light years with you I caused tears of pain A million times for you I'd kill them all and spare none, Daemon Just a, just a, just a, just a To have some fun, wouldn't you? Because  
  
Chaos lord: I the darkest hour She cried more, more, more While the rebels yell She cried more, more, more Wowww In the darkest hour, Daemon More, more, more While the rebels yell She cried more, more, more More, more, more  
  
Chaos lord: Oo yeah, a little Daemon She want more More, more, more, more, more Oo yeah, a little Daemonette She want more More, more, more, more, more  
  
The Space wolves fled and Abaddon was sorely tempted to join them in their attempt to escape the madness, but he half expected this sort of thing from the Emperor's children. 


	6. My way or you die today

This is a parody of Limp bizkit's 'My way or the highway'  
  
After suffering the madness of sing Daemons, Obliterators, Mutants and now Chaos Space Marines Abaddon went to the sight of a battle he was convinced would be music free. After the defeat of the Space wolves the Imperil guard decided to fortify their positions and one of those positions was directly in the path of the World Eaters being lead by Khane on less. The Despoiler settled in an out of the way vantage-point, eagerly awaiting the carnage, but to his horror Khane had taken point and was taping his foot. Abaddon groaned as he heard the music start...again!  
  
Khane: check, check, check, check...out my malevolence  
  
Khane: Holy You think you're holy? You do I'll gouge out your eyes I'll laugh while I kill all you guys Looken down on you I walk around taking skulls from you Just one more fight Your Emperor sends you too And I will straight up Cleave your neck Cause Khorne never has enough of it And nether do I  
  
Khane: Yeah This time I'm 'a rip all your guts out This time I'm 'a stand up and shout It's my way My way or you die today  
  
Khane: Check out, check, check...out my malevolence  
  
Khane: Just one more fight Your Emperor can't win And I'll hack off everything To start killing on Terra again Pillage again  
  
Khane: Yeah This time I'm 'a rip all your guts out This time I'm 'a stand up and shout I'm 'a do things my way It's my way My way or you die today  
  
Khane: Some day you'll see things my way Or you'll lose your head And, you never know When you're going to end up dead  
  
Khane: Check out, check, check...out my malevolence  
  
Khane: Just one more fight And you'll be history Yes I will straight up Cleave your neck And I'll be the one who's left Standing tall  
  
Khane: Yeah This time I'm 'a rip all your guts out This time I'm 'a stand up and shout I'm 'a do things my way It's my way My way or you die today  
  
Khane: Some day you'll see things my way Or you'll lose your head And, you never know When you're going to end up dead  
  
Khane: Check out, check, check...out my malevolence  
  
The Guardsmen fled and the World eaters gave chase after a breath celebration leaving Abaddon to take in the sheer insanity of his situation. He groaned irritably, "I hate singing!" he grumbled to himself before deciding to go secure the newly 'won' bunker, "I'd best summon assistance. After all, I don't know any songs so what would I do if I was attacked...rely on military tactics, firepower and brut strange?" Abaddon asked himself sarcastically. 


	7. Haven't got a prayer

Yes, I meant Raptors not Reapers, thanks for pointing that out. I'm usually more careful about stuff like that but anyway here's the corrected version.  
  
This is a parody of Bon Jovi's 'Livin' on a prayer'  
  
Abaddon stood ready to assault a squad of Dark Angels with his Black Legion, he turned around to address them, "now listen up, there will be no singing! Violence, blood shed and carnage yes but no singing...that's an ORDER!" he screamed before music started to play. Abaddon looked around to see who was about to start singing, sword ready, when he spotted a squad of Reapers flying over head. One of the Raptors landed between the Black Legion and the Dark Angels.  
  
Raptor: Once upon a time About ten millennia ago  
  
Reaper: the Emperor's body used to work on its own Now he needs a chair to keep him alive He's down on his luck...that's tough, but not tough enough Space Marines do his dirty work ever day Worshiping a dead man, we made him that way For fun-for fun  
  
Raptor: I say you better hold on to what you got 'Cause it don't mater if you live or not Where gonna win and you'll get shot For fun-we'll leave you to rot  
  
Raptor: Whooah, we're ever where You haven't got a prayer Death will come for you-that I swear You haven't got a prayer  
  
Raptor: the Emperor's bones are dust Now he's held up by a pile of rust He's such a joke-that's tough, just not tough enough Space Marines dream of divinity When they fail day and night The Emperor says, someday  
  
Raptor: you'd better hold on to what you got 'Cause it don't matter if you live or not Where gonna win and you'll get shot For fun-we'll leave you to rot  
  
Raptor: Whooah, we're ever where You haven't got a prayer Death will come for you-that I swear You haven't got a prayer  
  
Raptor: you'd better hold on, you're gonna die and rot You wont live through this fight weather you try or not  
  
Raptor: Whooah, we're ever where You haven't got a prayer Death will come for you-that I swear You haven't got a prayer  
  
Abaddon gritted his teeth as the Dark Angels turned to run, "stand and fight!" he screamed. One of the Dark Angels turned around, "we're not retreating we, ah...just heard that one of the fallen is on the other side of the planet. We can't just ignore I lead like that!" as the Dark Angel turned to run Abaddon rolled his eyes, "sigh, I hate MTV so much right now" he grumbled as the Black Legion began celebrating with the Raptors. 


	8. wave of mutation

I'm guessing that there was no specific Chaos character or army you wanted to sing this so I hope my chouse is ok.  
  
This is a parody of Pixies' 'wave of mutilation'  
  
Abaddon stood on the hull of a Chaos Rhino that was slowly rolling through an empty street when a squad of Imperil Guardsmen surrounded the Rhino. Abaddon smiled, "finally a chance for some real fighting and no chance of a song getting in my way!" he stated as he drew Drach'nyen. Then a group of mutants pored out of the buildings and music began to play, "of course..." Abaddon groaned.  
  
Mutant: Cease to resist, except that your gonna die Drive your Leman Russ into me I may be dead, buy you'll be washed away On a wave of mutation A wave Wave  
  
Mutant: I've killed Commissars, riding in Chimeras Waked a Priest with a dead man's arm Could fight my way through a squad of Marines On a wave of mutation, Wave of mutation Wave of mutation Wave  
  
Mutant: Wave of mutation Wave  
  
The Guardsmen ran, the Mutants cheered and Abaddon screamed, "why do they always run!" he held his head in his power claw. He muttered something, "I wouldn't mind the singing if the enemy would just stay long enough to get slaughtered" he sighed and instructed the driver of the Chaos Rhino to continue on. 


	9. year 43000

Thank you for pointing that out, I've fixed my little error in this version. If anyone spots a little mistake in my terminology for future chapters, no mater how miner, please let me know because your happiness is all I care about. O...K that's a little too clingy isn't it? But seriously, do tell me if you have any complaints with the terminology, I care about these little details myself.  
  
This is a parody of Busted's 'year 3000'  
  
Abaddon inspected the squad of Word Bearers, "yes, you Word Bearers are just the fanatical Chaos worshiping band of murderous Chaos Space Marines I need! There's no way you lot are going to start singing...is there?" he asked, before hearing an Imperial Guard armored column rolling towards them. Abaddon and the Word Bearers stood firm as the tanks stopped just short of them. The Apostle leading the Word Bearers walked closer to the tanks, "give-up, Imperil scum, you can't win, because..." he began taping his foot and music began to play.  
  
Dark Apostle: One day when in the warp  
  
Dark Apostle: I heard a funny noise  
  
Looked out to find out if it was  
  
One of those Eldar boys  
  
Floating there was a space hulk from the future  
  
And a hole in space/time  
  
Dark Apostle: They told me the where caught in a warp storm  
  
Like the ones we've all seen  
  
Yeah yeah...they said...  
  
Dark Apostle: We came from the year 43000  
  
Not much has changed but they worship Chaos,  
  
And your great, great, great, great grand Emperor,  
  
Is fossilized (is fossilized)  
  
Dark Apostle: They took me to the future through a hole in space/time and I saw everything,  
  
Chaos cults and another one and another one...and another one!  
  
Tripe eyed Daemons appear around town...totally free!  
  
Dark Apostle: We floated around in a space hulk,  
  
Like the one we're currently using...  
  
Yeah, yeah...they said...  
  
Dark Apostle: We've come from the year 43000,  
  
Not much has changed but they worship Chaos,  
  
And you're great, great, great, great, grand Emperor,  
  
Is fossilized (is fossilized)  
  
Dark Apostle: I took a trip to the year 43000  
  
Chaos had taken over everything  
  
Everybody bowed down to Chaos  
  
It had slain the Emperor  
  
I took a trip to the year 43000,  
  
Chaos had taken over everything  
  
Everybody bowed to Chaos  
  
It had slain the Emperor, Emperor, Emperor  
  
Dark Apostle: They told me they where caught in a warp storm  
  
Like the ones we've all seen,  
  
Yeah yeah...they said...  
  
Dark Apostle: We came from the year 43000  
  
Not much has changed but they worship Chaos,  
  
And your great, great, great, great grand Emperor,  
  
Is fossilized (if fossilized)  
  
The tanks quickly reversed away as the Word Bearers celebrated and Abaddon grumbled obscenities under his breath.  
  
Well there you go, a longer chapter...don't ever say I don't listen to the needs of my readers. As for the two requests I resaved, I'm working on making 'lust for life' click and Alice's restaurant is, well...a challenge. I've never shied away from a challenge but don't expect it to get done any time soon, the thing's a mile long! Oh, and for the record; there is no such thing as to weird. 


	10. night fear

This is a parody of the Bee Gees' 'night fever'

With his sanity, such that it is, beginning to slip with all the singing, Abaddon tries to relax by searching for stragglers in an abandoned Imperil city. After about an hour of searching he decided to clime to the top of the tallest building left standing to get a better view when he hears music beginning to play. Below a squad of Night Lords led by a Chaos Lord are taping their feet, "noooo" Abaddon groaned.

Chaos Lord: Listen to the ground:

There is movement all around

There is something goin' down

And you can't stop it

Chaos Lord: On the waves of the warp,

There are Daemons out there

If it's stoking your soul

And it will eat it

Chaos Lord: And that dreaded Chaos Marine,

He moves through the night,

Crushing your mind and your soul

When you watch out for me

Yeah, and there's no light

Chaos Lord: Then you get the night fear, night fear

We know how to do it

We give ya that night fear, night fear

We know how to bestow it

Chaos Lord: There you are,

Prayin' for this madness to end,

Your soul on the line,

Blowing in the wind,

I'll make it mine.

Chaos Lord: Night fear, night fear

We know how to do it

We give ya that night fear, night fear

We know how to bestow it

Chaos Lord: In the cold of the night,

Don't need no help, your soul we will take it

Give up you'll never make it to morning

I got Daemons in my mind

I got higher in my stalking

And I'm gloating in the dark;

I give no warning

Chaos Lord: And that dreaded Chaos Marine,

He moves through the night,

Crushing your mind and your soul

When you watch out for me

Yeah, and there's no light

Chaos Lord: Then you get that night fear, night fear

We know how to do it

We give ya that night fear, night fear

We know how to bestow it

Chaos Lord: There you are,

Prayin' for this madness to end,

Your soul on the line,

Blowing in the wind,

I'll make it mine

Chaos Lord: Night fear, night fear

We know how to do it

We give ya that night fear night fear

We know how to bestow it

As the few stragglers fled the city, the Night Lords celebrated the success of their clean out mission, unaware that Abaddon was bashing his head repeatedly against a section of wall high above them.


	11. none

This is a parody of Metallica's 'one' 

Abaddon stood with a force of Alpha legion Marines, his head was bandaged, "so there where fifty of them? They where all around you, and the only wound you got was from one of them throwing a rock at you as he tried to run?" the Chaos Lord leading the Alpha Marines asked. Abaddon scowled at him, "for the last time, YES!" he growled, 'this is perfect, the Alpha legion operates so fare from the Eye of Terror they don't know anything about the singing madness.' "Oh the singing, why won't it stop?" Abaddon cleared his throat when he realized he had said that out loud. Just then, a squad of Imperil Guardsmen marched round the corner, "all right boys, for the Emperor!" the Sargent shouted. Before he could say anything else he noticed to both his and Abaddon's horror that the Chaos Lord was taping his foot and music was beginning to play. As the rest of the Alpha legion did the same the Chaos Lord said, "let me tell you something about your Emperor..."

Chaos Lord: He can't really do anything

Can't stop me or save you it seems

Deep down inside you now he can't here your screams

That terrible silence stops him

Chaos Lord: Now that the war is though with him

He's waking up, you can not see

That there is not much left of him

Nothing is real but pain now

Chaos Lord: Holding his breath as he wishes for death

Oh please Chaos gods, take him

Chaos Lord: Stuff him in a tomb and let's get real

A chair pumps life that he must steal

But can't look forward to his meal

Lost in the time when he lived

Chaos Lord: Fed through tubes that stick in him

Just like a dying corps

Tied to machines that make him be

I'll cut that life off from him

Chaos Lord: Holding his breath as he wishes for death

Oh please Chaos gods, take him

Now his will is gone his power is none

Oh Chaos gods, help him hold his breath as he wishes for death

Oh please Chaos gods kill him

Chaos Lord: Darkness imprison him

All that he sees should be

Absolute horror

He cannot live

He must die

Trapped in himself

His soul will burn in hell

Chaos Lord: Chaos has taken his sight

Taken his speech

Taken his hearing

Taken his arms

Taken his legs

And it will take his soul

Until then, leave him with life in hell

As the Guardsmen ran into the distance Abaddon stood silently staring into space, "well Lord Abaddon, we have won it seems...Lord Abaddon are you all right? Hello...Lord Abaddon?" the Chaos Lord asked over the cheering of the Alpha Marines but Abaddon continued to stare blankly into space.

Well it looks like Abaddon's mind has finally snapped, but had to happen eventually. Anyway, I'd like to clarify something; this is a Chaos only fic, and besides, Chaos is the only race evil enough to imply such a devious tactic...bye for now!


	12. mutated

This is a parody of Dashboard Confessional's 'Vindicated' 

Mutated

Abaddon grinned as several Chaos Spawn shambled and lurched toward a squad of Imperil Guardsmen, "ha, I am a genius! Wouldn't you agree Sargent?" Abaddon asked a Chaos Spawn wearing a hat with the word 'Sargent' on it. The Spawn shifted and groaned, "thank you, Sargent. No it can't be...Chaos Spawn are to stupid to even speak let alone...sigh" Abaddon grumbled as he noticed the lead Spawn taping whatever equivalent of a foot Chaos Spawn has.

Chaos Spawn: Your hope dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

Pulsing in and pulsing out

The Spawn ahead has cut your eye

And roped you in so mesmerizing

I'm so hypnotizing

I am nauseating

I am

Chaos Spawn: Mutated

I am twisted

I am wrong

You will rot

I swear you'll rot

Swear I know it would be like this all along

And I am flawed

But I am cleaving you so well

I am seeing in you now

The things you swore you never saw yourself

Chaos Spawn: So clear

Like the corpse on his throne

Cut to mirror my intention

Oversized and you're overwhelmed

By the Spawn that cut your eye

And rendered you so

Isolated so

Misdirected I am

Certain now that I am

Chaos Spawn: Mutated

I am twisted

I am wrong

You will rot

I swear you'll rot

Swear I know it would be like this all along

And I am flawed

But I am cleaving you so well

I am seeing in you now

The things you swore you never saw yourself

Chaos Spawn: So easily your flesh rips

Part it and feel my tentacle tips

Curs the moment for forever

Defense is paper thin

Just one touch and I'd be in

Too deep now to even scream

Against the Chaos

Chaos Spawn: So let your soul slip away

So let your soul slip away

So let your soul slip away

So let your soul slip against the Chaos

So let your soul slip away

So let your soul slip away

So let your soul slip away

So let your soul slip away

Chaos Spawn: Mutated

I am twisted

I am wrong

You will rot

I swear you'll rot

Swear I know it would be like this all along

And I am flawed

But I am cleaving you so well

I am seeing in you now

The things you swore you never saw yourself

Chaos Spawn: Your hope dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

Abaddon scowled at the retreating Guardsmen; "I seem to remember saying 'no singing' did I not? You need to learn to keep a titer rain on your men Sargent!" Abaddon grumbled to the Chaos Spawn wearing the Sargent hat.

That's right, Abaddon has built an army of Chaos spawn in an attempt to ride himself of the singing but things didn't quite work out...oh well!


	13. Marines in Black

This is a parody of Will Smith's 'Men in black' 

Abaddon stood with two Chaos Spawn, one wore a hat that had 'Sargent' written on it and the other wore a hat that had 'General' written on it. They watched as a squad of Black legion marines advancing on a squad of Imperil Guardsmen, "take notes General, this is how Chaos Space Marines fight! And that goes for you to Sargent! I haven't forgotten the shameful display your subordinate put on!" he said to the Spawns. Abaddon groaned as he saw the Lord leading the squad taping his foot, "on second thought, don't take notes" Abaddon grumbled.

Chaos Lord: Uh...

Here come the Marines in Black

It's the M.I.B's, uhh, here come the M.I.B's

Here come the Marines in Black

You'd better remember

Chaos Lord: Nah nah nah

The bad guys dress in black remember that

Just in case we ever fist to fact in combat

The title held by me...M.I.B

Means what you think you know, you do not know

So don't blink your soul what was there

Is now gone, black power suits with the black power claws on

Walk in shadow, move in silence

Worse than extra-terrestrial violence

But yo we ain't on no greater goal

We straight don't have no soul, no prayers and no Imperil hindrances

Saw somethin strange, watch your back

Cause you never quite know where the M.I.B's is at

Uh and...

Chaos Lord: Here come the Marines in Black (Marines in Blaaaaack)

Galaxy decimators (oahhaooohh ohhhhh)

Here come the Marines in Black (Marines in Blaaaaack)

You'd better remember

Chaos Lord: Uh uh, uh uh, now

From the deepest of the darkest of night

On horizon, dread light enters sight, tight

Aim, on your impending doom

Then like BOOM black power suits fill the room up

With the Chaos, leave no witnesses

Chaos Lord: Hypnotized, paralyzed

Vivid nightmares turn to reality

M.I.B's, can I please

Do what we say or your head we will kick it

Ya know wha I mean? I see my bolter get wicked on ya

We'll smash through your first last and every line of defense

We're the worse scum of the universe

Chaos Lord: So fear us, cheer us

If you ever get near us, we'll bleed you, we're the fearless

M.I.B's, freezin up all attacks

(What's that stand for?) Marines in Black

Chaos Lord: Uhh

The Marines in Black...

The Marines in Black...

Let me see ya bow to me, just bow to me

Just bow to me c'mon

Let me see ya just war with me, you'll die by me

You'll die by me c'mon

Let me see ya fear me, just fear me

You'd better fear me

Or you'll hear your neck brake

Now freeze...

Chaos Lord: Here come the Marines in Black (Marines in Blaaaaack)

The galaxy decimators

Fight on, fight no

Here come the Marines in Black (Marines in Blaaaaack)

You'd better remember (ohhhh nooooo)

Chaos Lord: Aight check it, let me tell you in closing

I know you might think we're posing

But trust me if we ever show in your section

Believe me, it's a Chaos infection

Cause we be things that you cannot see

And we be places that you don't want to be

So save your life, forget that Emperor crap

No love for the black power suit, cause that's the Marines in

Chaos Lord: That's the Marines in...

Here come the Marines in Black (here they comeeeee)

The galaxy decimators (ga-la-xy dec-i-ma-tors)

Here come the Marines in Black (ohhhh here they come)

You'd better remember (you'd, better, rememberrrr)

Here come the Marines in Black (ohhhh here they come)

Galaxy decimators (ohhh ohhh, ohhh ohhh, ohhh ohhh)

Here come the Marines in Black

You'd better remember!

Abaddon scoffed at the Chaos Marines as they celebrated their victory; "all this singing is ridicules! What's next, interpretive dance? Come to think of it one of your troops was lumbering in a rather odd way, Sargent!" he growled at the Spawn wearing the Sargent hat.

Ok, so things are getting weird and Abaddon has gone insane...insaner. However, I did get an idea for a story from this, Abaddon builds an army of Chaos Spawn and all the officers wear hats with their rank written on them. Sound good? Well if you like that idea then let me know and place, feel free to suggest songs for this fic.


	14. Still in Black

It feels like an eternity since the last time I've updated this fic, but here it is, enjoy…

This is a parody of AC/DC's 'back in black'

Creed and a squad of Imperial Guardsmen marched through a recently retaken area; "stay alert men! There's no telling what could still be lurking…oh no, he's back!" Creed groaned as a Daemon Prince walked out from behind a ruined building. The Daemon Prince stepped forward, "no, actually I never left!" he said as he began to tap his foot.

Daemon Prince: Still in Black

I hit the rack

I've been too long I'm glad to be on the attack

Yes, I'm let loose

From the warp

That keeps me hanging about

You'd better look to the sky

'Cause it's time to say good bye

Forget the Emperor 'cause he's gonna die

I got infinite life

Daemon eyes

Annihilating everything for fun, just run wild

Daemon Prince: 'Cause I'm still

Yes, I'm still

Well, I'm still

Yes, I'm still

Well, I'm still, still

I'm still in black

Yes, I'm still in black

Daemon Prince: Back on the front line

Of Cadia

Number one with a bolter, I'm a power pack

I'm in a war

With lots of gore

You've got to run unless you want some more

'Cause I'm back on the attack

And I'm leading the Daemon pack

You've fallen into my trap

So run from me now

I'm making my way

Don't try to push your luck, or I'll make you pay

Daemon Prince: 'Cause I'm still

Yes, I'm still

Well, I'm still

Yes, I'm still

Well, I'm still, still

I'm still in black

Yes, I'm still in black

STIL IN BLACK!

The Daemon Prince roared in celebration as Creed and the Guardsmen ran for their lives. Elsewhere, Abaddon slumped in his chare, "it's started again, I can feel it" he lamented as several Chaos Spawn tried to pickup and fire the bolters Abaddon had issued them.


	15. On your way to hell

I had a bit of trouble finding the right angle to come at this from, so I'm not sure if this songs any good, enjoy…

This is a parody of AC/DC's 'highway to hell'

A squad of Iron Warriors stood in the middle of a battle torn road, a large Imperil bunker in front of them with a fully crewed Rhino baring their way. The Lord leading the Iron Warriors stepped forward and began to tap his foot.

Chaos lord: Dying easy, living fear

Praising a Man road the one-way ride

Asking nothing, leaving nothing

But destruction in my stride

Don't need reason, don't need rhyme

Ain't nothing I can't do

I'll shoot you down, Chaos time

You won't find any friends there

Chaos Lord: You're on the highway to hell

Chaos Lord: Gonna slaughter you, no limit

Nobody's gonna slow me down

Chaos Lord: Like a bolter, gonna blast it

Nobody's gonna mess me round

Hey Abaddon, payin' my dues

Killing in a Chaos Legion

I'm on my way to the promised planet

Chaos Lord: You're on the highway to hell

(Can't stop it)

Chaos Lord: And I'm going to blast you, all the way down

You're on the highway to hell!

The Rhino sped off into the distance as the Iron Warriors celebrated, meanwhile Abaddon and his Chaos Spawn army marched up the road, "ahhh, I wanted to take that bunker! And after I spent all that time training the men with rocket launchers" Abaddon grumbled as he and his badly charred Spawns turned to leave.


	16. dead to the hills

This is a parody of Iron Maiden's 'run to the hills'

As the last of the Chaos forces withdrew from Cadia, Kane stood ready to fight the final battle of the 13th black crusade. Starring down the entire Cadian army the mad Chaos Space Marine began to tap his foot.

Kane: mad man came across space I brought you pain and massacres

I killed you troops, I killed my own

I took their skulls for the blood thrown

Kane: you fought me hard, you fought me well

On the battlefield I sent you to hell

Many came, just not enough for me

You will never be set free!

Tearing through infantry and officers alike

Crushing tanks as I go

Chasing the humans back to their holes

Slaughtering them is just a game

Kane: murder their freedom with a stab in the back

Women and children and cowards hiding in the cracks

Kane: die to the hills, die to a man

Die to the hills, die to a man

Kane: Soldiers red on the bloody wastes

Hunting and killing is a game

Rending the women and flaying the men

The so-called God-Emperor is dead

Slicing their flesh and taking their heads

Eviscerating the young and decapitating the old

Kane: die to the hills, die to a man

Die to the hills, die to a man!

Kane laughed as the Cadians retreated in horror, "we'll be back to finish you off just as soon a Abaddon stops being insane…stops being too insane!" he shouted as he boarded his shuttle.

Well there it is the last chapter…or is it? Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Anyway, don't despair friends for this is far from the end of my mad parody days. I've started a sitcom-ish fic staring Abaddon called Spawn of Abaddon and I'm working on a new song fic series about my first love the Tyranids!


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